PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
