end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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