They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
