The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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