a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.