weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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