Texts From Last Night

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I think I took your hangover as a birthday present

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  (740): I think I took your hangover as a birthday present http://tfl.nu/q2lj
  Replies (5) Good night (2002) Bad night (699)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.

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  (515): So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial. http://tfl.nu/ftzk
  Replies (11) Good night (3194) Bad night (723)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011

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  (919): I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011 http://tfl.nu/zxkw
  Replies (53) Good night (5801) Bad night (1162)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes

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  (360): I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes http://tfl.nu/v9u0
  Replies (13) Good night (6164) Bad night (1069)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?

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  (314): Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me? http://tfl.nu/x7by
  Replies (35) Good night (2447) Bad night (10094)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....

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  (940): I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk.... http://tfl.nu/3fzx
  Replies (18) Good night (2876) Bad night (908)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.

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  (720): I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else. http://tfl.nu/ss1v
  Replies (4) Good night (1166) Bad night (667)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now

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  (403): Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now http://tfl.nu/l7gb
  Replies (11) Good night (3618) Bad night (1089)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?

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  (406): Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver? http://tfl.nu/hdgc
  Replies (6) Good night (529) Bad night (2112)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.

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  (708): Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here. http://tfl.nu/8u6g
  Replies (3) Good night (785) Bad night (518)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?

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  (309): He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned? http://tfl.nu/05n3
  Replies (5) Good night (426) Bad night (1718)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first

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  (613): I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first http://tfl.nu/99uo
  Replies (1) Good night (529) Bad night (321)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia

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  (248): I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia http://tfl.nu/wvuh
  Replies (3) Good night (262) Bad night (797)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!

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  (404): I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto! http://tfl.nu/mgcq
  Replies (3) Good night (404) Bad night (907)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.

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  (412): In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/p6qy
  Replies (3) Good night (682) Bad night (230)

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