Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
