Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.

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  (314): I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people. http://tfl.nu/5ctu
  Replies (15) Good night (1266) Bad night (2883)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.

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  (405): Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile. http://tfl.nu/zkhz
  Replies (30) Good night (875) Bad night (3308)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners

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  (678): Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners http://tfl.nu/cs50
  Replies (32) Good night (4305) Bad night (599)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!

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  (937): I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser! http://tfl.nu/qe5c
  Replies (36) Good night (1007) Bad night (5040)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.

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  (517): he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there. http://tfl.nu/pbyg
  Replies (14) Good night (6231) Bad night (823)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"

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  (709): His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs" http://tfl.nu/qi7o
  Replies (27) Good night (5104) Bad night (1528)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.

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  (954): I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother. http://tfl.nu/rbuh
  Replies (9) Good night (2720) Bad night (1580)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.

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  (720): Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game. http://tfl.nu/5fqu
  Replies (7) Good night (2265) Bad night (1543)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone

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  (903): I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone http://tfl.nu/vw3h
  Replies (5) Good night (970) Bad night (1890)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."

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  (703): You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial." http://tfl.nu/ubhg
  Replies (3) Good night (1608) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.

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  (563): Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit. http://tfl.nu/it5v
  Replies (8) Good night (1518) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!

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  (281): She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave! http://tfl.nu/tzuo
  Replies (12) Good night (1018) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead

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  (907): I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead http://tfl.nu/kczi
  Replies (4) Good night (920) Bad night (347)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?

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  (240): Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished? http://tfl.nu/q6tp
  Replies (3) Good night (1248) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.

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  (650): You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs. http://tfl.nu/uro3
  Replies (1) Good night (523) Bad night (287)

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