If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
