gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
