i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
