Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
