my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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