ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
