My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
