he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
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there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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