I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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