i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
