I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
