how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
