foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
wow bdsm is so cute
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
