he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
