My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
this hospital has no fireball
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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