Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
