you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
