You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
