I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
