I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
