Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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