That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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