Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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