I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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