I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
