You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
