I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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