Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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