I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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