doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
my liver is dry heaving
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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