dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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