i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
