"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
