the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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