Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
