I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
