It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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