saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
