Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
