at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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