Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
