ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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