its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
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He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize