u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
