Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
third nipple confirmed
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
