quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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