All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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