Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
