I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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