I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
