okay pat passed out under dana's car
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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