They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
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I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
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I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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