the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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