loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
that's an acceptable place to lick
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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