i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
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Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
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After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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