mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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