i already hear my dad disowning me
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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