she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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