READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
did i just pee glitter
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
