yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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